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Things We Learned During the Rio 2016 Olympics

22 Aug

Last night the closing ceremonies for the 2016 Summer Olympics aired. If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent a good part of the last two weeks glued to your television watching super athletes, who you’ll never be like, achieve their wildest dreams, while you ate ice cream, drank wine and lusted after the men’s water polo team. […]

The Last Few Weeks of School and Other Things I Suck at

3 Jun

It’s the end of the school year and shit’s falling apart like Gwen Stefani’s NuvaRing up in here. Tests, recitals, awards ceremonies, field trips, field days, field mice, crazy hat day, crazy shirt day, crazy sock day and every fund raiser under the fucking sun is knocking at your front door and you’re all “wasn’t […]

How Normal People Eat Every Day

9 Feb

I recently read an article about how the owner of Hollywood’s favorite juice bar eats on the daily. I understood every other jaw-dropping word (did she just say she eats mushroom shit?) and demand some fucking answers. Moon Juice Lady: “I usually wake up at 6:30am, and start with some Kundalini meditation and a 23-minute breath […]

Facebook Yard Sales Though

22 Jan

In the past year or so, there’s been an influx of Facebook Yard Sale pages. A place to peddle your wares, buy a thirty-year old rusty car or maybe even meet a life partner.     What the actual fuck? People will seriously sell anything on these pages. Creepy dolls, braids from ex lovers’ heads, used […]

Back-to-School: Week 1 vs. Week 2

17 Sep

September 1st. Somewhere in the world: This year is going to be different. I’m going to have my shit together. I’m going to be the best mother ever. Becky from the PTA will worship me. Other mothers will fall at my feet begging, “what’s your secret?!” 1.) I’m going to make organic, non GMO, fresh, wholesome lunches made […]

Girls’ Weekend

19 Jul

Time spent away with girlfriends is precious. Like a precious, drunk diamond. There’s just something about a girls’ weekend that soothes the soul, satisfies an inner yearning and prevents you from finally losing your shit at the next work meeting or the next time that little asshole, Sid the Science Kids talks about how cool his mom is. […]

B.E.L.T.S.

12 Apr

You may think that all we do is drink wine and swear. Well, you’re right. But, we also have awesome friends who do awesome stuff. And if there’s anything we love more than Matthew McConaughey and booze it’s supporting women owned business. Check this badass company out. B.E.L.T.S. Share

How Much is Too Much?

26 Mar

I recently borrowed this book from the library. It went missing shortly thereafter. In a moment of honesty last night, just before bed, my six-year-old looked at me and casually asked “hey, mumma, have you been looking for that ‘How to Sabotage Your Kids 101′ book? Cuz, I may know where it is.” I think […]

Best of 2013

8 Jan

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Christmas Pinterest Bitches

20 Dec

It’s the most wonderful stressful time of year and they’re at it again. They’ve been tinkering in their crafty craft rooms since that back-to-school bullshit and the bitches are back. And they’ve been busy. They’re all…     And I’m all…It’s five days until Christmas and I’m still decorating the tree and trying to figure out what […]