BITCHIN' SISTERS - Page 2 of 8 - We're Pretty Damn Funny: That Ain't No Disco

FU PB

6 Mar

Ever feel like this when you’re flipping through a catalog?                               Please note: Most (all) of these pictures are owned by Pottery Barn.     Share

SAHM vs. WOHM. An Inner War.

13 Feb

In the wake of yet another article about the SAHM vs. Working Mom, (I wonder if this widespread insecurity will ever end?) I felt compelled to share my own personal experience. Until recently, and since my first child was four months old, I had worked full, full-time. Meaning that I had a full-time career that […]

Snow Days

30 Jan

Tis’ the season for eleventy billion snow days. Sure, we’ll be in school until mid-July, but I love snow days. For the first hour. On the first snow day. The night before the first snowfall of the season: “Kids! We’re going to have so much fun on this glorious snow day! We’ll go sledding, build […]

Best of 2013

8 Jan

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Christmas Pinterest Bitches

20 Dec

It’s the most wonderful stressful time of year and they’re at it again. They’ve been tinkering in their crafty craft rooms since that back-to-school bullshit and the bitches are back. And they’ve been busy. They’re all…     And I’m all…It’s five days until Christmas and I’m still decorating the tree and trying to figure out what […]

Thirteen Phrases that Assault the Senses.

19 Nov

1.) Broad. Call me a broad and watch what happens. Haven’t heard much about Andrew Dice Clay lately? That’s because he’s fertilizer. He called one too many woman a broad and she poked him in the eye with her stripper heel. That’s not true, but it should be. ‘Broad’ is like ‘chick’ only it makes […]

Halloween: Sluts, guts and please, no nuts.

22 Oct

I love Halloween. And not just because it’s my birthday. <–LIE.   When I was young, I loved having my birthday on Halloween. We would have parties with haunted house themes, costume contests, ghost stories and shit loads of candy. I loved it. I would agonize over my costume. Should I be an old lady (again) or a jar […]

My Birthday Must Haves

10 Oct

Scary thought. I’m turning thirty-five twenty-five on Halloween, so we’re having a birthday costume party. Translation: Eight friends come over, drink three beers, slam a Black Russian and leave by ten o’clock because we’ve all got eleventy-six million activities to do with the kids the following day. (Oh, and by Black Russian, I mean the drink…this […]

Where the Fu*k is my iPhone?

4 Oct

If you are sick and tired of collecting your drunk friend’s iPhone from the toilet with chopsticks and a pashmina. Get her this. We did. P.S. Margot, you’re welcome. Share

Lice is a four letter word.

28 Sep

Mother effer. My daughter has lice. Let me rephrase that. My daughter came home with lice two weeks ago. For the first three days, I treated the shit out of her hair…sanitized, vacuumized, circumcised and alchemized my entire house and chalked it up as a Rite of Passage. I thought we were in the clear and turned my attention back […]