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Mother’s Day Wishlist

10 May

A Dyson. Because being a mom doesn’t suck. And because a vacuum is the perfect gift for pushing two babies out of your vagina and then having your nipples chewed off for the following ten months. Nope. But I figure if I am in charge of picking up after three animals, I may as well be efficient. […]

P!nk can fly. I’ve seen it.

2 Apr

My friend and I went to the P!nk show last week at TD Banknorth Garden. She got hit by a bike messenger, (my friend, not P!nk) we haggled with a few extras from the Departed to buy tickets and scored floor seats. All in the same night. And we didn’t even end up in formaldehyde jars in the […]

Live Life Believe

1 Mar

We belong to a ridiculously awesome gym called Live Life Believe. We want you to belong too. Unless you don’t want to be in our club, which would be weird because our club is kind of amazing. Here’s a list of things that we love about LLB. And your mom. No Creep Factor There aren’t […]

Mumford and Sons – Babel concert review

6 Feb

Much of my appreciation for music came from my dad. (Okay and 88.9.) My father exposed me to all types of music at an early age. We would cruise around in his Chevy Nova listening to Oldies 103.3 and he would give me background on the band, genre and random (but poignant for my little brain) […]

Doubtin’ Abbey – Season 3 Opener Recap

8 Jan

It’s Spring 1920 at Downton Abbey…right after Laura Linney punches us all in the face with her penis. We’re preparing for the wedding of the century and the house is abuzz. Carson is about to lose his mind due to all of the intense preparation of polishing silver and hollering his head off at everyone. […]

Just another reason to love (and help) New Jersey.

5 Nov

I married into a family from New Jersey. When I first met my husband, I heckled him endlessly about his home state based solely on conjecture and stereotypes. Shocker. I know. But while we’re being honest, I also asked him if he was Mexican in freshmen year biology lab. What? He was super tan. Thanks, […]

Sons of Anarchy

20 Sep

This show is addicting. It took my husband two years to convince me to get this series on Netflix (we use a Roku and love it). I have never even been on a motorcycle. Why would I want to watch a show about a bunch of bikers? I finally caved. And then we watched like […]

illegitimi non carborundum

7 Sep

It’s my mom’s birthday. To sum up the woman who gave birth to my brother, sister and me and has subsequently spent forty-five years being systematically bullied by us, I’d like to tell you a little bit about her… She was born in South Boston. Her father was a one-armed Congressional Medal of Honor recipient. Her […]

Madonna concert

5 Sep

 It’s 10:18 pm on a Tuesday. I am usually in bed. Instead, I am in a sea of chubby girls wearing entirely too many sequins and too little clothing. Drinking a nine-dollar near beer. At TD Garden where drunk middle-aged women go to die. Every time Madonna comes around, my sister and I say we’re going to […]

Summer is a dangerous whore.

2 Aug

It’s summer. It’s hot. Stupid people are everywhere. Leaving their kids, animals and expensive make-up in the car. Parking themselves on the beach just begging for melanoma. Swimming in the ocean whilst sharks are eating people and baby seals. Taking their children to the playground where dangerous shit happens. Every year I look forward to […]