cnssisters, Author at BITCHIN' SISTERS
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Lice is a four letter word.

28 Sep

Mother effer. My daughter has lice. Let me rephrase that. My daughter came home with lice two weeks ago. For the first three days, I treated the shit out of her hair…sanitized, vacuumized, circumcised and alchemized my entire house and chalked it up as a Rite of Passage. I thought we were in the clear and turned my attention back […]

Tumbler? You Brought Her!

25 Sep

We are so all over this one!  $9.95 for traveling serenity = Yes, please! Share

My Husband is MIA for DIY

22 Sep

I’m married to a carpenter. He does beautiful work. In other people’s homes. We’ve lived in our home since 1997. Since then, I have asked him, bribed him, threatened him, cajoled him to fix a few things around the house and to help me maintain day-to-day functions. Like not leaving his huge man things everywhere […]

Um. We have a virus, bitches.

13 Sep

There once were two sisters who lived in a small town near Boston (more like Cape Cod, but I’m not sure if our new readers in Zimbabwe know where “the Cape” is). One day, these sisters decided to write a facetious article about how badly they suck at Pinterest crafts, back-to-school preparedness, the art of getting […]

Back-to-School Pinterest Bitches

29 Aug

It’s that time of year again. The kids are going back to school, Target is abuzz with harried moms, the beaches are emptying, I’m still not tan and shit’s about to get real on Pinterest: I went to Ocean State Job Lot and bought my daughter’s school supplies. After washing last year’s perfectly good bag, I […]

Mother’s Day Wishlist

10 May

A Dyson. Because being a mom doesn’t suck. And because a vacuum is the perfect gift for pushing two babies out of your vagina and then having your nipples chewed off for the following ten months. Nope. But I figure if I am in charge of picking up after three animals, I may as well be efficient. […]

P!nk can fly. I’ve seen it.

2 Apr

My friend and I went to the P!nk show last week at TD Banknorth Garden. She got hit by a bike messenger, (my friend, not P!nk) we haggled with a few extras from the Departed to buy tickets and scored floor seats. All in the same night. And we didn’t even end up in formaldehyde jars in the […]

Live Life Believe

1 Mar

We belong to a ridiculously awesome gym called Live Life Believe. We want you to belong too. Unless you don’t want to be in our club, which would be weird because our club is kind of amazing. Here’s a list of things that we love about LLB. And your mom. No Creep Factor There aren’t […]

Mumford and Sons – Babel concert review

6 Feb

Much of my appreciation for music came from my dad. (Okay and 88.9.) My father exposed me to all types of music at an early age. We would cruise around in his Chevy Nova listening to Oldies 103.3 and he would give me background on the band, genre and random (but poignant for my little brain) […]

Doubtin’ Abbey – Season 3 Opener Recap

8 Jan

It’s Spring 1920 at Downton Abbey…right after Laura Linney punches us all in the face with her penis. We’re preparing for the wedding of the century and the house is abuzz. Carson is about to lose his mind due to all of the intense preparation of polishing silver and hollering his head off at everyone. […]